Power and control in abusive relationships
Power and control in abusive relationships is known as coercive or coercive control, which is the method used by the aggressor (arbitrary ) in order to control and control the victim, to achieve arbitrary purposes such as physical abuse or psychological abuse or sexual abuse, and resort to the use of multiple methods to exert control over the victim and feel fear
Methods used include (positive reinforcement, pounding love, smiling or giving gifts) and (negative reinforcement
These manipulators and abusers use methods such as positive reinforcement (praise), pounding love, smiling or giving gifts .
Either intermittent negative or partial reinforcement, psychological punishment such as abuse, profanity, threats and intimidation, a kind of painful bonding between the aggressor and the victim may arise as a result of ongoing abuse, in which the intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment creates emotional bonds that can be immutable .
There are also other methods, such as isolation and mental dysfunction, and the victim is often an alcoholic or drug addict, which facilitates the process of controlling and destabilizing him .
The control from the point of view of personality psychology :
People with personality disorder tend to show an inflated sense of self-worth, and because they are devoid of feelings and conscience, they are suitable for doing tricks and manipulating others and making them comply with their desires . They also have hysterical personality disorder, so they tend to become the focus of attention in order to attract and control the victim of a relationship ( and eventually get rid of it ) . People with narcissistic personality disorder also have superficial self-inflection, hypersensitivity to criticism and a sense of entitlement that forces them to convince others to fulfill their desires .
In order to maintain self-esteem and protect the walls of their fragile and vulnerable selves, they need to control the behavior of others, especially their children, who are considered to be an extension of themselves .
The control freak
A control freak actually defends himself against any change and tries to persuade others to change themselves so that they do not affect him and he changes, meaning that he believes if he is not in control he will be at risk of childhood panic . So, he uses force against others to get rid of inner emptiness, and when it breaks the pattern and control it leaves in him a feeling of a painful and terrible job, but this feeling quickly restores him to himself again as he was .
Based on personality theory, this control freak belongs to Group A characters driven by the need for control and control.
And has the need to control others associated with his troubled and anti-social .
Psychological manipulation :
Braiker identified the following methods by which manipulators control their victims:
1-positive reinforcement: it includes praise, superficial sympathy (crocodile tears), excessive apology when wrong and giving gifts, excessive attention, facial expressions such as laughter and smile, and sometimes professional body language .
2. passive reinforcement involves taking him out of a bad situation, such as doing any work instead of him .In order for his victim to feel sympathy for him .
3-intermittent or partial reinforcement: it is a negative but partial reinforcement which can create a kind of fear and doubt . The partial positive helps the victim to continue to fall into the trap .
4 – Punishment : It includes shouting, harassment, silent treatment, intimidation, threats, insults, emotional blackmail, guilt trip, attack, crying and playing the role of the victim, silent treatment, which is frowning on the face of the other person with malice to try to control and exploit it, as for emotional blackmail, which is in short when there is a relationship between two people or an intimate relationship, the victim fear him so he doesn't get verbally abused or avoid any of that behavior. The aggressor .
Emotional blackmail :
Emotional blackmail is one of the forms of psychological manipulation which uses a different set of threats and punishment to try to control the behavior of someone else, and often be between two people combine their strong relationship ( such as mother and daughter, husband and wife, and friends ) there is a party of them seeks to control the other to be held hostage to the emotional not .
According to psychologist Susan Forward, emotional blackmail is a form of manipulation used by the blackmailer, who has a strong relationship with the victim .the people who resort to this are parents, heads of work with their subordinates, partners and spouses, and this is done by knowing that the victim needs support or anything from it, threatening the victim to cut off support from him or not to implement his need, which is a weakness of the other party, leaving him unable to get out of control and manipulate him.
The silent treatment :
Used as passive and aggressive behavior to try to increase control by the aggressor by preventing him from negotiating and dialogue to settle the error and avoid it later , but in some cases even when the victim agrees to the demands of the aggressor, he continues his silent treatment of him until he causes more psychological damage to the victim through his constant concern.
Pounding love :
A constant attempt to influence a particular person by showing attention, love and affection and not it can be used for positive or negative purpose .
General contract :
it is used to undermine a person's belief in the validity of his senses, and deny his personal experiences, from the duty to reduce its social role and the marginalization of his feelings .
And wait us in the next article to complete the remaining elements